Please Don't Feed the Children Review | Perfect Turd Podcast Ep.294

We finally watched Please Don’t Feed the Children (2025), the much-buzzed-about horror-thriller from Destry Allyn Spielberg (yes, Spielberg’s daughter).

It follows a gang of orphans fleeing a post-outbreak world—only to be trapped by a creepy woman with a secret and a milk-and-cookies agenda.¹ Despite strong performances from Michelle Dockery and a well-meaning premise, the movie collapses under weak writing, plot holes, and pacing that feels more soporific than suspenseful.

#tubi